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Ayy

by Ben Lazarus

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Steven
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Steven I've known Ben for over thirty years. He's one of the most creative people I know. These tracks are heartfelt, slightly wry, and expertly done. I'd expect nothing less. Favorite track: Sunnyvale.
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    HIDDEN BONUS TRACKS INCLUDED WITH PURCHASE, ANIMATIONS & MORE: 8 additional instrumental tracks are made available for download & streaming after purchasing Ayy, along with the complete Ayy promo package including three animations.
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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Ayy, My Mood Is, Hamster, Cold Cuts, Got Me Wondering, Nuts In Space, The Cost of Christmas, Outrun the Truth, and 12 more. , and , .

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1.
............. LYRICS: You got me wondering all night and day Who made the stupid rules in this game we play We’re hiding the hurt cuz we’re setting the scene Living our best lives on everyone’s screens Overshare to make the world care Roll the highlight reel selling my appeal Up on my soapbox now I’m here to say I got some exercise and look good today And here’s a hot take to stir the pot My best impression of someone I’m not Overshare to make the world care Roll the highlight reel selling my appeal Compare and Despair Compare and Despair Compare and Despair Compare and Despair Despair Despair Despair It’s been two hours now but still I scroll There are no carrots in this rabbit hole I finally know now that less is more So why does unplugging feel like a chore? Overshare to make the world care Roll the highlight reel selling my appeal You got me wondering
2.
Methadone 02:04
............. LYRICS: I’d rather be alone Than take you to your methadone Cherry syrup keeps you from feeling sick Then you go and chill with your sugar daddy dick I’ve known you for years and you’ve changed a lot Your drug of choice is heroin and mine is not Give me back my tripod when I come to drop your stuff off Walking our dogs hand in hand The public park suddenly turned into candyland We lay on the grass, I watched you smoke Nugget sniffed Sasha’s ass and I made a joke Now I’m at home with my guitar And I don’t give a fuck where you are Give me back my tripod when I come to drop your stuff off You can go down to the mission and score a balloon Bring the happiness home and cook it in your spoon Before you nod off be sure not to call me I’d rather be alone Than take you to your methadone Cherry syrup keeps you from feeling sick Then you go and chill with your sugar daddy dick I’ve known you for years and you’ve changed a lot Your drug of choice is heroin and mine is not Give me back my tripod when I come to drop your stuff off
3.
............. LYRICS: There’s no victims here Only volunteers You signed up for the show In spite of what you know We all understand You’re here to build a brand You’re on the road to be a wreck for all to see You can’t talk fast enough to outrun the truth Lying at the end of a wasted youth You’re hoping that you’ll win We’re all tuning in To the feedback loop I saw you on the soup The good times that you had Are looking really bad Trade dignity for fame That’s how to play the game You can’t talk fast enough to outrun the truth Lying at the end of a wasted youth After your season airs The sequel is despair Cause there’s no room for you To be on season two Your hot streak’s running cold At 26 years old Go watch your DVR To find out who you are You can’t talk fast enough to outrun the truth Lying at the end of a wasted youth You can’t talk fast enough to outrun the truth Lying at the end of a wasted youth You can’t talk fast enough to outrun the truth Lying at the end of a wasted youth
4.
Sunnyvale 03:21
............. LYRICS: A Haunted Toys R Us Made my hometown famous A statue sits and reads One book is all that he needs Sunnyvale is where I hail from In the heart of the South Bay You can diss it, I still miss it Ever since I moved away The orchards are long gone There’s strip malls where their names live on Downtown is just one block You know that murphy street rocks Sunnyvale is where I hail from In the heart of the South Bay You can diss it, I still miss it Ever since I moved away A city logo like an ice cream cone It’s worth a visit for Golf Land alone Sunnyvale to me you’ll always be A land of stucco and glass Through which several freeways pass One suburb in a long line But damn it that one was mine Sunnyvale is where I hail from In the heart of the South Bay You can diss it, I still miss it Ever since I moved away
5.
Bunjee 03:48
……….. LYRICS: I woke up with a shattered head Wondering what I did and said I know it’s gonna be bad news There’s puke dried on my shoes Behavior that I can’t defend I’m driving away all my friends The flames from the bridges I’ve burned Won’t melt cold shoulders turned But each and every one I’ve earned I’m sweating bullets drying out Looking within while I live without Burnt coffee and folding chairs Why do all these weirdos care? Read the book and take the chips Forcing the prayers from my lips There really must be something wrong If this is where I belong I’m eager to prove I’ve changed No longer drunk and deranged Now I’m one man instead of two Can I ever make it up to you? That’s something I hope I can do Rejections got me afraid I don’t want to lie in the bed I’ve made Some wounds can’t be healed Sobriety becomes my shield Changing all the things I can Building from a better plan Facing my resentments and fears Days become months then years The program’s not for everyone But it’s the most important thing I’ve done I had to adapt to survive It’s the reason I’m alive May you all grow and thrive
6.
……….. LYRICS: I’m waiting for Lacy to call I don’t know if she’ll call me at all I’m waiting for Lacy to call I wonder if she’ll call me at all So I wait by the phone For that ring to make me lift my hand From the armrest of my leather chair Till then I’ll keep playing my PS2 Still waiting for Lacy to call I wonder if she’ll call me at all I’m not waiting for Lacy to call I don’t care if she calls me at all Still I wait by the phone For that ring to make me lift my hand From the armrest of my leather chair Till then I’ll keep playing my PS2 Call me and you can play some Playstation too My phone says SOS calls only And it’s leaving me feeling so lonely I’m waiting for Lacy to call Will she call me at all?
7.
Buddy List 03:00
……….. LYRICS: I like a girl I’ve never met I found her on the internet We IM’d and quickly became friends She sends me pictures and it lifts my mood Pretty sure she’s not a dude We’ll meet next week Then I’ll feel like less of a geek She won’t be just a name on my buddy list But a real live girl to hug and kiss No more need to type LOL When we laugh and talk we won’t have to spell I hope what I feel for her is real We met last week, I wasn’t floored Hey let’s face it, I was bored She kissed me like her lips were two dead fish Am I lonely? Was my judgment poor? I don’t like her anymore She just sent me a text What will I do next? Will I tell her she’s rejected Or that my laptop got infected Yeah I’m on a top secret mission Can’t get online without permission Got one bar of signal on my cell Can’t hear you too well When you talk through a window You can be who you want to be But is there a brain behind the pretty face I see? Meeting girls online is nerdy And surfing sites for porn feels dirty Am I better off going to the bar Getting way too drunk to drive my car I think I’ll just stay home And turn off my phone
8.
Staying In 02:32
............. LYRICS: If we could go anywhere I wouldn’t But bothers me that I couldn’t As the menus getting leaner That grass keeps looking greener Now I’m spacing out staying in And I can’t tell how long it’s been The minutes turn to dog years And there’s eons in a day But that’s ok in its own way Remembering days of yore About three weeks before When the world had yet to stop And I wasn’t scared to shop Now I’m spacing out staying in And I can’t tell how long it’s been The minutes turn to dog years And there’s eons in a day But that’s ok in its own way Now I’m spacing out staying in And I can’t tell how long it’s been The minutes turn to dog years And there’s eons in a day But that’s ok in its own way
9.
Lurky Loo 01:49
10.
My Mood Is 02:33
……….. LYRICS: Little things getting big though they start out small Negativity rolls downhill and makes a big snowball Gettin’ mad that I’m sad twisted in a knot I can’t be bothered to think of all the good things that I got The clouds came in and I don’t know why There’s no shelter from the falling sky I wanna hurry to a bottle and wait for death My mood is as bad as, my mood is as bad as your breath Never mind feeling fine all is well again I’m bringing back all my old bad habits they’re my new best friend Gonna try getting high staying up all night I’m a man on a mission to do all the wrong things right The suns back out and my brains on fire Full of chemicals that got me inspired Don’t ask me for a damn cause I don’t give one My mood is as bright as, my mood is as bright as the sun I’m so sick of these mood swings Always doing a dumb thing No such thing as an even keel Extremes are what I feel The clouds came in and I don’t know why There’s no shelter from the falling sky I wanna hurry to a bottle and wait for death My mood is as bad as, my mood is as bad as, My mood is as bad as your breath
11.
............. LYRICS: Your alarm goes off at the crack of noon It’s somehow late but also too soon Trade your night sweats for daytime pjs To sleep your midday afternoon blues away Put down your phone and go back to bed Stop the hamster wheel that spins in your head A good day’s sleep is your only goal Let go of things that you can’t control The day is long so nap in the middle It takes a lot out of you doing so little When you’re tired you’re not at your best Take a break from chilling to get some rest Put down your phone and go back to bed Stop the hamster wheel that spins in your head A good day’s sleep is your only goal Let go of things that you can’t control It’s a midday lullaby The sleepy sun in high in the sky It’s a midday lullaby Let’s teach this crawling time how to fly Up from your nap and the sun’s going down Bandana Bandits roam this ghost town We’ll make food or get takeout instead After dinner we’ll go back to bed
12.
............. LYRICS: I'm running outta groceries I should go get some more It’s always really stressful going to the store And another thing, who bought all the ice cream? You have robbed me of my dream Shopping is a beverage That nobody enjoys Everyone avoids it, like coconut La Croix And another thing, there’s no more mac and cheese Share your boxes with me please Walk with me down the aisles Behind my mask I’ll smile Buy the food, hurry home I can breath once we’re alone We’re standing on the x’s Each six feet apart The distance isn’t all bad, it’s probably safe to fart And another thing, I can’t use my own bags I’ve got so many, what a drag I know I’ve been complaining So here’s some gratitude Strangers started waving Nobody’s being rude And another thing, I’m glad for all of you And time we spend, family and friends I love you till the end Love to all my family and friends
13.
Dicomforter 02:29
……….. LYRICS: I’m alone and asking why You knew the truth and still you died All ‘cause you believed a lie Your faith meant the most To you and so I’m here Writing these verses to a ghost Your devotion gave you pride When you got sick you had to hide Old friends called you and you lied But they would do the same In your shoes ‘cause to them Illness is a thing of shame Radical reliance No word of health or science Is mentioned in your book Spiritually denying The fact that you were dying You were scared of how you’d look If you hear me from beyond You know I’m bitter that you’re gone But I’m here and moving on I do my best each day To honor you and now I’ve finally brought myself to pray
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about

.............
ABOUT:

The thirteen songs on Ben Lazarus’ debut album 'Ayy' span the past two decades and chronicle the ups and downs of his life. The excitement of a new love and subsequent disappointment are told in a few broad strokes with 'Buddy List' and 'Methadone'. 'Discomforter' is about the death of his mother and 'Bunjee' is about getting sober. Other songs written during early COVID lockdown address the uncertainty and frustration of living in a world that came to a grinding halt ('Staying In', 'Going to the Store', 'Midday Lullaby'). 'Got Me Wondering' is about the frustrating masquerade of existing in a social media feed. The instrumental track 'Lurky Loo' is reminiscent of spaghetti western film scores with a splash of surf rock. 'My Mood Is' chronicles the rapid cycles of joy and despair that Lazarus often feels. 'Sunnyvale' is a love letter to his hometown in Northern California. With the backing of several drummers, Lazarus played the rest of the instruments and sang the tracks in his home studio.

Ben Lazarus is hands down one of the most talented and kind hearted people that I have ever met. He is a man who wears many hats and damn does he wear them well! Also, I've seen his hat collection. And his guitar collection. And his record collection. And his foot peddle - you get the idea.

After meeting Ben a few times casually, thanks the mutual friendship of our paramours, we began to get to know each other where all the most important business happens... at the dog park. After some fun with our dogs, Ben shared some of his demos with me. I listened to them on my way home. Thirty seconds into the first track I knew that the world must be allowed to hear Ben Lazarus. Musically, it was love at first, um, listen, play, steam? With all my film projects on hold at the time due to covid, I immediately founded my own record label with no purpose other than to release Ben's music. Thankfully he agreed when I later proposed it to him.

As we released his singles together over the course of the next couple years, I not only learned more about this fascinating, complicated and mysterious man, but I've learned so much from him. He is a walking talking fountain - nay Niagara Falls - of knowledge. I've been witness to his seemingly endless amount of talents, which extend well past just music. Ben's told me much about his very interesting and unique life, yet the more I learn about him the more mystery I find still remains. I suspect that will always be the case, which oddly makes me happy.

If you give him a chance, I know you will love Ben Lazarus' music as much as I do. There is no better way to begin than with.... Ayy

Enjoy!

~ Andrew Napier
Napier Records

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credits

released November 22, 2022

.............................
ALBUM CREDITS

Written, Composed & Produced by: Ben Lazarus

Executive Producer: Andrew Napier

Vocals, Guitar, Bass Guitar, Lap Steel Guitar, Chimes, Melodica & Keyboards: Ben Lazarus

Drums & Percussion: Frank Hegyi, Jonathan Lazarus & Evan Bautista

Special Guest Drummer: Darren Elpant (on 'Lurkey Loo')

Mixing Engineer & Mastering Engineer: Greg Francis

Graphic Design & Photography: Ashley Bradly

Special Thanks: Ashley Bradley, Amanda Tannen, the Lazarus family, the Napier family, Senior, Frida & Stubbs.

Released by: Napier Records

© 2023 Napier Records

www.NapierRecords.com
www.BenLazarus.com
www.AndrewNapier.com

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Ben Lazarus Los Angeles, California

Ben Lazarus is a Los Angeles based singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist. His songs are short, sweet, strangely honest and honestly strange. Lazarus is signed to Napier Records, a label founded by Academy award-winning filmmaker Andrew Napier.

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