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Hamster

from Cold Cuts by Ben Lazarus

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about

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ABOUT:

A stoney audio collage peppered with useful information about pet hamsters.

lyrics

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LYRICS:

Imagine that you are just five inches long
Stand only two inches tall and weigh only a few ounces

The hamster is a member of the rodent order mammals
In the vast sea of species that comprise the animal kingdom

Hamsters reach sexual maturity within a few weeks after birth
And if left to their own devices, rodents begin reproducing right away

Another characteristic that hamsters have
Is two large glands on each side of their body
Close to the position of their hips (thanks)

When the hamster awakens full of energy
And ready to play in the afternoon or early evening
Make sure he has toys and food to enjoy

Just like humans, hamsters are susceptible to colds
And can actually catch a cold from you
A good preventative measure is to keep your hamster away from-

Do the hamster, the hamsters
Do the hamster, the hamsters, the hamsters

For all practical purposes, the pet hamster has no tail
Instead, he has a short tapered stub that contributes
To the compact, cylindrical shape of the hamster’s physique

Signs of a healthy hamster: bright lively eyes, clean erect ears
Well-formed and trimmed incisors, hearty appetite
Barrel-shaped physique and an alert expression

Hamsters are famous for their puffy cheek pouches
The holding capacity of the pouches is such that they
Double the size of the hamster’s head when they fill completely

Take your time in interacting with your new hamster
Even if she seems ready for play, introduce yourself gradually
You will both benefit in the long run

The hamster has consistently been voted
The most popular small pet of the nineteen nineties

Hail satan, prince of darkness

credits

from Cold Cuts, released November 11, 2022
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SPOTIFY

Stream ALL Ben Lazarus music on Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/5zlNNutCANfivGZKE5Lxgx?si=RNPiowUXQ3Wr_-Q-9I0bwA

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CREDITS

Vocals, Guitar, Keyboards, Producer, Writer: Ben Lazarus
Bass: Misha Guiffre
Vocals: Jonathan Lazarus
Vocals: Kate Lazarus
Vocals: Mike McClatchey
Vocals: Dave Lazarus
Mastering Engineer: Greg Francis
Mixing Engineer: Ben Lazarus
Released by: Napier Records

© 2021 Napier Records

www.NapierRecords.com
www.BenLazarus.com
www.AndrewNapier.com

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all rights reserved

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about

Ben Lazarus Los Angeles, California

Ben Lazarus is a Los Angeles based singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist. His songs are short, sweet, strangely honest and honestly strange. Lazarus is signed to Napier Records, a label founded by Academy award-winning filmmaker Andrew Napier.

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